Sayounara

At San Francisco Int'l Airport, another heart-breaking moment has once again placed me on my knees.

Saying 'goodbye' is hard.
To people you love dearly, to people you detest, I still find it not easy regardless to whomever.
Why? I don't know.

A farewell is said to give out best wishes and luck to another, not a teardrop followed by worried looks.


Here were the two YFU students I sent my last goodbyes to, Misako and Ayaka (left to right).

(11:21 PM) AYAKA★ミ　∩＾ω＾∩☆・。:	i wont cry tomorrow!! i gonna leave here with smile!!!

And so she says.

It wasn't the case when we separated the next day. From the security check-in area, she broke down.


I told her repeatedly, "Nakanaide, ne?" (Don't cry now, okay?) but she couldn't stop.
Soon, I felt my face tense up, eyes warming, and I desperately tried to force out a smile.

I didn't want to make it worse, because my goal was to send the two out with a proud grin and the wonderful feeling of accomplishment. The truth was, I couldn't.

I felt weak and powerless. All I could do was give them both a hug, and they were on their way.

Here and there, their heads popped out glancing out from the crowd who were waiting in line to have their luggage screened. I stood and waited, until they were completely out of sight, until it was my turn to leave. As I entered the airport's BART Station, I peered outwards to see if their plane was visible. A fleet of United Airlines was there, but their gate wasn't on this side of the terminal.


With nothing else to do, I dragged myself aboard, sat down and did nothing else but just pondered on the question:


Why is saying 'goodbye' so hard?


Is this my birthday gift?