(Japanese for host parents: サンノゼに帰りました～)
But 'home?' I don't know if I could call it that.
Sure enough, I love this city and country but calling 'America' home has always been an issue for me.
Since childhood, I was taught and believed that America is in fact the greatest country in the world. Up to now in the recent years, I've been starting to doubt that. It's a good country, a beautiful one, too. She has given me many opportunities in life other people in different countries don't have.
An example is studying abroad. Despite this, it all changed last year when I did so. In doing so, suddenly, this country isn't as great as it seems. Upon returning--I will be honest with you--I felt so distant and was reluctant to accept this place I was born as home. I had the hardest week adjusting my life back here; It's a tough emotional battle, even now.
I feel like a tourist ever since. Walking past random people on the sidewalk makes me feel uncomfortable. America's diversity is itself an advantage, but forces vagueness into etiquette and culture.
The high crime rate here is maybe a reason why I can't call it home. The rudeness of people on the streets is maybe something else I can't tolerate.
If any one of us should call America a 'home,' that is questionable due to our private way of living. Is it possible to love and hate your own country? If the country could apologize, it would have to take more than that to win me back.
My heart is somewhere else right now.
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